Wild Wednesday

I love this picture that I took while in Idaho of
Averie, my cousin's daughter.

I am home in Greensboro now. Reuniting with Em and Sydney was awesome, and such a relief. I've been worried about Sydney, she's now started peeing everywhere when she sees Em, Liz, and me.. it's really weird, she never used to pee when excited.

I love shopping for Christmas. Basically, I love shopping and not feeling guilty, and Christmas is a great time for that! I bought Em's gift already, and I know what I want for a few others. I am completely clueless about what to get my mom.

Holiday season is rough for me money-wise. My mom's birthday is December 17, my dad's is December 26. Em's is Jan. 16. Within 1 month, I have Christmas and 3 birthdays! AHH!

Every year, my grandparents just send me a check so that I can get what I want. I'm thinking about getting an iPod Touch. I've read numerous reviews (which are very mixed). The iPod Touch seems to be "an iPhone without the phone and more space for tunes". It also seems to be a piece of technology that is at the beginning of a new "touch interface" era for Apple. Basically, reviewers are saying that the iPod Touch is only the beginning. Better, Bigger things are coming, and we should wait for them. One other criticism is, why spend $300 for an 8 GB iPod Touch, when for $250, you can get an 80 GB iPod Classic. It's a good question..but the curiosity in me takes over. iPod Touch has a lot of features that the Classic does not. A big one - a WiFi internet browser. Also, a bigger screen (I guess more important if you're going to watch videos on it), storage for photos, and a calendar you can keep info in. A lot of people are saying that the iPod Touch is a great buy, that how it works is interesting and it's fun to explore all of it's features. Those reviewers who were extremely tech-savvy were very mixed in their reviews, but for the average, every day person (like me), it seems to be a great purchase, and very fun.

We'll see. Anyone have an opinion?

It's good to be home. Em and I are going out to eat tonight, I am so excited. I haven't had an appetite in over a week!

Love everywhere,
Stay safe traveling with this weather lately,
Kris

Meghan Mondays

This weekend my cousin Meghan came to see my mom's apartment and hang out for awhile. Luckily, I woke up Saturday morning feeling a lot better than I had been, so we had a great time. Kels came home from West Chester for the weekend, too, so the three of us took it easy and hung out Saturday night. Meg brought Sculpey with her, and we created the best holiday sculpey scene that ever graced the planet, for my mom to display proudly.

I left a few items out of the picture so that they all would fit (mainly, the elf's flask and vomit) And yes, that is a skiing dinosaur with a scarf.

Tomorrow I'm flying home to NC. It seems surreal to be actually saying that, I feel like I've been here so long now. I've gotten quite used to sleeping until noon, having complete control of the remote ;-) and having my mom do my laundry for me. However, I am so ready to go back, I miss my puppy and my other half.

Yesterday we went to my Uncle Donnie's house for a big dinner. My cousin, Erin, is being deployed to Iraq in January and this is the last time she'll be home before that. As everyone was leaving, I realized that we had every single grandchild present (except for Stevie, who lives in Idaho). How often do we have every single grandchild, PLUS Mommom and Poppop in the same place? Hopefully we can do that again sometime because I want to take a picture next time. My family means a lot to me, even if we don't see each other every day.

I should go shower and get on with my day. In 24 hours I will be sitting in Dr. Briskin's office, getting my post-op check, and in 27 hours, I WILL BE ON A PLANE HEADED TOWARDS RALEIGH! Sweet.

Love everywhere,
Kristen

EDIT 5:34pm : Liam is on the front of the Alex's Lemonade Stand website!! Alex Scott, founder of the organization, who passed away at the age of 9 from the same cancer that Liam had, Neuroblastoma, her mother and father continue to work for the cause. Alex's mom, Liz is friends with Mrs. Kane, and they live very closeby. (Kennett Square, I think) Anyway, check it out!! http://www.alexslemonade.org

Awake.

One might ask what I am doing up at 5:37am the day after I got surgery. Well, one's answer would be that I am not "up" as in.. I did not wake "up" as in.. I never fell asleep. Yes.. I have this funny little dilemma that is not so funny at all.

My nasal passages are completely blocked right now. I mean, there is absolutely NO air going through my nose at ALL. Fine.. whoopdy doo, a few pops in my ears everytime I swallow. Not the end of the world. Until I try to fall asleep. Then I am plagued by this ridiculousness. Basically, I have to sleep with my mouth open, or else, I can't breathe. (obviously). I sleep sitting up, propped up with pillows and blankets, and try to fall asleep with my mouth open, but inevitably, about 6 minutes after I doze off, my mouth closes itself and I wake myself up trying to gasp and shudder to take a breath.

I am extremely confused as to how this even happens, seeing as I am sleeping sitting straight up. Gravity should be wrenching my jaw downward and holding in there, but for some reason.. even gravity is out to punish me.

This might seem like a minor issue, however, when you have been in bed for 6 hours trying to sleep, and this "shuddering gasping" thing happens one every ten minutes or so, that means 6 or so times an hour, that means THIRTY SIX TIMES my body has woken itself up because it can't get oxygen.

I mean..atleast it's doing that. With all the drugs in my system for pain, I could just sleep through the gasping for air, never realizing it because I'm passed out on painkillers. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful that my body is trying to live. I am just being pushed to the edge of insanity. I'm so tired that my eyes "sleep" and the rest of my body can't. The night before the surgery I only got about 1.5 hours of sleep because I was so nervous. Yesterday during the day I got probably about 1-2 hours while resting. That is somewhere around THREE HOURS OF SLEEP for the past 48 hours.

I sense that when I have kids, I may be somewhat miserable for those first few weeks... ;-)

I will come out of this bitter hole of darkness. I don't know when..but I will.

Better Days

I hate to make a miserable post to this blog, but that is what I'm about to do. I will allow myself to feel sorry for myself for approximately the next 10 minutes.

My surgery is set for Wednesday, 11am. That's when I go under the knife. Or..the hammer/chisel. Or whatever they use to reconstruct a nose and septum. Lucky for me, all of my cousins were sick last week when I was visiting them, so now I have a sinus infection. Well, it hasn't been officially classified as a sinus infection, but when you blow your nose and everything that comes out is dark green, you know that something is infected. Thus, the pressure from the "infection" or "sickness" or whatever it is, is making my face feel like it's going to explode. Literally, just shatter into a million tiny pieces.

With my 9 minutes left of feeling sorry, I will make a list.

Reasons I Am Angry.
1. Although my professors are being very helpful, there will be points that I cannot make up for certain things in certain classes (pop quizzes, attendance, etc.) I have worked my ass off this semester, and I am angry that it's going to go down the drain.
2. Because I am getting surgery, this means that there's a chance I can't play rugby anymore. One nose surgery + playing rugby again + re-breaking my nose one more time = no insurance coverage on the next time it breaks. Plus.. 2 bad concussions within 18 months isn't a good thing. And everyone around me seems to be hinting that it's time to retire the sport that has actually helped to shape who I am today.
3. I want to be at home. I miss Em. When she dropped me off at the airport, I barely hugged her.. I thought we were going to be apart for 6 days, not for two and a half weeks. It's not that I can't live with out her (which.. I can't..) but it's just that I know she's at home with Sydney and my spot on the couch is empty, and I'd do anything to be at home with them. I know it's a lot to take care of everything by yourself, especially with Sydney being so weird lately.
4. I hate being sick. First of all, I hate being injured, but the next worst thing is being sick. And both at the same time? I can't even describe to you what the pressure in my head feels like. My nose feels like it's breaking every second. Not to mention, my sinuses are full of shit because they can't drain properly, I'm coughing and sneezing, which kills as well, and I'm just plain miserable. The entire day yesterday I sat in an easy chair, surrounded by my "supplies". My artillery consisted of: cough drops, nose spray, a sinus irrigation device, my pain medication, vicks vapor rub, a box of tissues, and chapstick. This is war.
5. My mom has two interesting neighbors. One is a woman who's husband constantly screams at her in some indistinguishable language. The other insists on listening to his music with the bass BLARING.. don't these people go to work during the day?
6. I am bored out of my freaking mind. I have played all of the Super Mario that I can handle, I have read two books in the last 4 days, and I've watched enough re-runs of Run's House and America's Next Top Model to last me for a lifetime.

Lucky for all of you, my ten minutes is up, and it's time to be happier, and remember that others are much worse off than I am right now. My teachers are being very helpful, a few of them are letting me write papers instead of take their exams, and all of them are working with me.

If you live in the DE/PA/MD/NJ area and feel like visiting, let me know. I'll be here until December 7th.

Love from Wilmy,
Kristen

Update on the Shnozz

Well, I have bad news and..well, bad news.

I need reconstructive surgery on my nose and septum.

The surgery is on Wednesday, and I have to stay in DE for atleast a week, because the follow up appointment is 7 days after that.

Which means I have to miss 2 weeks of class...

Which is bad news. I am going to be so behind, it's scary.

And... I'm worried this will hurt. I've NEVER had surgery before.

:-/

CROOKED!

OUCH!!







that's about it. i'm leaving for the airport to go home. i hurt.

love,
kristen

Give me the strength to carry on

August 05, Liam, Alli, Me


June 05, Me and Liam at my Graduation Party


Beautiful Family.. 11/12/05

"Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you always used to. Put no difference in your tone; wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effort, no trace of a shadow on it. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, somewhere very near. Just around the corner. All is well."
- Henry Scott Holland

Liam James Kane 6/29/00 - 11/19/05

Broken

Yesterday was our last game of the season, against Guilford College. We've never lost to them, and I was determined to keep it that way. At the end of the first half, the score was 10-0 us (which means we had scored 2 tries, worth 5 points each, and missed both of our conversion kicks, worth 2 points each) During the second half we were obviously extremely tired, and they scored one try, making it 10-5. With about 15 minutes left in the game, their biggest girl (and nastiest..) had a break away and right on the try line I went in to tackle her, and that's the last thing I remember.

The next thing I remember is staggering off the field, my hand to my face, and I could feel that my nose was completely sideways. As I was going off the field, Em was coming on and she took one look at me and the look on her face freaked me out so bad, she immediately made me lay down and hold very still. And after that, I just remember people talking to me as I drifted in and out, waiting for the ambulance.

So, unfortunately, I spent all evening in the Emergency Room, luckily I was given a good amount of morphine (yes, morphine!) I have a concussion and completely displaced, broken nose. Even worse- my nose is so swollen that it can't be fixed until the swelling goes down - so probably a week or so. So, I will have a broken nose for Thanksgiving... great :-)

Aside from the smashed nose and concussion, everything else is fine. I babysat for Vance and Macy yesterday, who were sooo excited to see me. I missed them too. I'll post pictures of them and of my face/nose as soon as I can. I'm pretty drugged up on excellent pain medication, so I've just been laying around and drifting in and out of sleep today. I fly home Tuesday morning, so you'll hear from me before then.

Love everywhere,
Me

Good Morning Baltimore

Last September, Em and I were hanging around on a Friday trying to figure out what to do with our evening. Our roommate Liz suggested we go see the movie Hairspray in the theater.. I was completely skeptical. I mean...Hairspray? I had no clue what it was about, all I knew about it was from the playbill that Liz had on her wall from when she saw it on Broadway. It sounded weird. Who names a show "Hairspray"? What could it even be about.. hair? Hair salons?

Well, I completely judged THAT show by the playbill. We saw it, and I LOVED IT! I was bouncing around in my seat the whole night. I loved the music, it was so "feel good" and the story itself was something that I wasn't expecting - it's basically about segregation in the 60's.

I forgot about the movie until yesterday we saw a commercial because it's coming out on DVD. If you didn't get a chance to see it in theaters, I highly recommend renting or buying it, it's definitely worth it. Good acting, good music, good story, plus, it takes place in Baltimore, MD! =)

A quick update

Monday night someone tried to break into our house. I was home by myself and at about 6, the power went out. Just as I began to think that it was strange, as the weather outside was fine... the power came back on. I went back to what I was doing, and 30 seconds later, it went out again. This time, for good. It was pitch black, and Sydney was at my side immediately. I decided to go check outside to see if our neighbors had lost power as well. Right as I opened up my door, the power came back on, and there was a man standing on the porch who turned away and jumped off the side of the porch and ran to the back of the house. I grabbed Sydney's collar and we ran to our neighbor's house and called 911. After calling two more times, the police finally showed up at MIDNIGHT. They didn't even write a report (mostly because he never entered the house or actually tampered with anything. He could have been trying to steal the two bikes on the porch). Either way, it was a long ordeal - and we later ended up spending from 3am-8am in the Emergency Room with our roommate Liz. (She's okay now).

After it happened, I felt fine - thankful that I was safe, but now, two days later, I just feel kind of unsafe/vulnerable. I find myself becoming more upset when Em has to leave for class in the afternoon and I am here by myself. Today I almost went with her to her design class! The experience also left me with another feeling - the family that lives next door to us is very cute. A mom & dad, and their 2 kids. They have a boy, Dylan, who is 4 and a baby girl, Abbey, who is 1. The family dynamic is SO reminiscent of the Kanes. I didn't realize it until I was hanging out with them, waiting for the police. Dylan is so proud of his little sister. "She took four steps today, because her legs are getting strong!" So cute...and Abbey, of course, is completely infatuated and obsessed with her older brother. It reminds me SO MUCH of Liam and Alli, and I didn't realize it until the next day. When I realized that, it actually sent me into a panic. This time of the year is always so hard for me. But more about that later.

So..lock your doors and windows and everyone stay safe.
Love.
Kristen.