NoJoMo #24

Today we went to the Natural Science Center with Kim and Jacob. Jake is so cute, and is such a ham. I can't help but photograph him. Even when he isn't posing, he looks like a little Gap Kids model! His skin is like porcelain...it's so pale!

The second photo is of this awesome sheep who was totally posing for me. He would chew his hay and then watch me adjusting my lens, pause and pose for a second, and then after my shutter went off, he'd go back to chewing. It was quite funny.

After the Science Center, Liz, Jay, Em and I enjoyed an amazing dinner at The Mel.ting Pot. Liz is a server there, and our meal was absolutely awesome! I was also very pleased to see that The Melt.ing Pot is doing a fundraiser over the next month or so, where at the end of your meal, your server offers that you can donate $10 to St. Jude's and in return, you get a $20 gift card to TMP! I think that's a great fundraiser, because you really don't lose any money by donating. It would make a nice Christmas gift as well (in my opinion). It's giving the gift that gives twice!

NoJoMo #23

I'm in Greensboro!!  I made a last minute decision on Thursday night to get a cheap last-minute deal on a flight down here for Friday, and I came down.  It's soooo good to be here.

Tonight at the Rugby House, there was a huge Thanksgiving Potluck Dinner.  I have photos, but I haven't loaded them onto my computer yet.  There were over 40 people there, lots of friends and friends of friends.  Jay, Em's brother, is also here visiting, so we all went together!  It was so incredibly great to hang out with my rugby girls again.  

This photo was taken in December of my freshman year at the rugby banquet.  It's me, Suzi, Gaby (our exchange student from Mexico!) and Kim.  Although none of these girls play anymore, they are part of the reason that I fell in love with rugby and enjoyed being on the team so much.  I liked playing, but all of my teammates really made me feel like I had found my "spot" down here at UNCG.  Me and one other player are now the oldest members of the team, which blows my mind.  I can't believe that I am now at the age that Suzi was in this picture.  She was our captain, and now I'm a captain.  So, I kind of feel like this has all come full circle.

Tomorrow we have plans to go over to the Natural Science Center, where they have a great zoo.  If you remember back a few months ago when I was here, I took V. there (the kid who I babysit for).  Em, Jay, and I are going to meet Kim and Jacob, the little boy in my last post.  It should be a fun time, and I'll take my real camera this time!

NoJoMo #22

"What's one of your earliest memories?" -Lindsey

One of my earliest memories is from when I was 4 years old.  We were living in a townhouse in Wilmington, and my dad had a grill in the backyard.  While he was grilling our dinner, I was running around out there with my next door neighbor friend, Brad.  My dad stepped into the house for a minute, probably to grab something.  Brad was chasing me and I had turned around to see how close behind me he was.  When I turned back around, the grill was about 10 inches from my face.  My arms flew up instinctively, and I crashed into the grill.  Thankfully, I didn't knock it over, but I did burn my arm.  I remember that searing pain so clearly.  I also remember my mom carrying me into the house and laying me on the couch.  That's all I remember about the event.  I asked my mom if I had remembered it correctly, and she said that I had - and that the burn wasn't bad enough to take me to the hospital, but that we did go to the doctor the next day to have it properly bandaged.  

"How many kids do you want and what do you want to name  them?"  -Em

I'm not sure exactly how many kids I want... but definitely at least 3.  I've always wanted a large household.  I'm not totally sure about the names, but I do like the name Jackson.  I also like the name Colton.  For girls I like the name Olivia ("Livie" for short).  Note: This is all subject to change... seeing as 10 years ago I wanted 6 kids and my two favorite names were "Amy" and "Emily" haha.

"Has your new camera changed how you look at things?" -Lindsey

I can answer this question with complete confidence.  Yes!  I feel like I caught a bug or something- everywhere I go, I see things and think to myself "man, those lines are awesome" or "I could really make this look more interesting with my camera".  I see scenes all the time that I would love to capture - which has led to me carrying my camera to pretty much everywhere I go.  The first two photos were taken at my cousin Meghan's house in Chestertown, and the last photo was taken today at a surprise party.  The little boy, Jacob, is so awesome.  He has two mommies and an older brother.  Kim has been babysitting for their family since Jacob was a teeny tiny baby.  I've been so lucky to get to know them through Kim.  Their family is SO cool, and the only same parent family (with kids) that I actually know and have spent time with.

First Snow! NoJoMo #21

My mom woke me up at 7:06 am, jumping around saying, "It snowed, It snowed!!"  I rolled out of bed to find about 2 inches of snow blanketing the ground.  And it's still coming down.

She made pancakes and coffee, which I enjoyed thoroughly.  Now, I might go back to sleep for a few hours  ;-)

PS. Please excuse the poor quality of the photo - it was easier to just snap a picture with my cell phone.  

My Life Soundtrack! NoJoMo #20

"Make a soundtrack of you. The 15 songs you would pick if a movie was made about you and why you are choosing them." -Erin

1. "River of Dreams" by Billy Joel. I grew up listening to this song in the car with my parents, and I always loved it. I think because it's pretty repetitive, so I was able to remember the words. This was my very first "favorite song".

2. "Can't Touch This" by M.C. Hammer. If a movie was made about my life, there would have to be a scene in which my dad is holding me and dancing with me around the living room to this song. I know it's silly, but this song will forever remind me of my dad and my childhood - in a good way.

3. "One Love" by Bob Marley. I have always loved this song, and when I was in middle school, I started listening to music that my friends didn't listen to, including Marley, Dave Matthews, and The Grateful Dead. It was really a turning point for me- when I realized that I didn't have to be just like everyone else around me.

4. "At the Beginning" by Donna Lewis. This is the song from Anastasia. When I was a freshman and sophomore in high school, I was transitioning into a new group of friends, and they played this song a lot. I wasn't really sure where it was from, but I learned fast. This song reminds me of them every time I hear it, and it used to be the unofficial song of the LSC. (Yes, our group of friends had a nickname, and EVERYONE used it haha) "I'll be there when the world stops turning. I'll be there when the storm is through. In the end I want to be standing at the beginning with you."

5. "Paradise by the Dashboard Light" by Meatloaf. This song is a tradition at PACAA. Every year, we have a dance, and at the end of the dance we play this song. The girls line up on one side, and the boys line up on the other side- everyone with a partner. It's just a fun thing that we do- some people don't approve because the song doesn't exactly have the best message, but it's one of my favorite things about Leaders and plus I love traditions!

6. "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens. When September 11th happened, I was a freshman in high school. I played Field Hockey that year, and the parents made a slideshow for us- I still have a VHS copy. They used this song in the beginning, which began my love affair with Cat Stevens at age 14.

7. "Silent All These Years" by Tori Amos. This song was introduced to me when I was in high school by my friend Rachel. I don't think she knows that it ended up being the song I played over and over, and sang to myself to be able to fall asleep during those nights when I was too scared to be in the dark by myself and terrorized by flashbacks. "Silent all these..years go by will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand? Years go by if I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head...Do you think there's a heaven where the screams have gone?"

8. "Tonight, Not Again" by Jason Mraz. When I was a freshman in high school, I started listening to Jason Mraz with my friend Becky. She was really into him and I'd never heard of him, but instantly fell in love with his voice and the amazing lyrics to his songs. This was way before he was on the radio or anyone knew who he was. This was my favorite song by him, and I was so excited when a couple of years later, he mainstreamed and hit the radio. This song is special because the summer of '03 was like out of a movie for me. It was just perfect, and my friend Max and I would listen to this song over and over. It was ours, and for years whenever one of us was at a Jason Mraz concert, we would call each other during this song. "It's when you cry just a little, but you laugh in the middle, that you've made it.."

9. "Crazy Game of Poker" by O.A.R. Another band that I listened to long before they were on the radio. Every time I hear this song, it brings me back to being 15 and riding in Becky's backseat, where it was my job to play the bongo while this song played. This is one band that I'm sad went mainstream though... their style of music really changed and became much more commercial and less unique once they started getting more attention. I guess things change, though.

10. "World Spins Madly On" by The Weepies. On the flight home the day after Liam died, I listened to this song on repeat on the plane, crying my eyes out. It's sad, but now I listen to it and it makes me smile and think of Liam. "I thought of you and where you'd gone. And the world spins madly on.."

11. "Here Comes the Sun" by The Beatles. This song represents me going to college, finding out new things about myself, and being extremely happy with my life for the first time in a long while. Plus, it's a great tune!

12. "I Kissed a Girl" by Jill Sobule. Hahaha...self explanatory! "I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet. She was just like kissing me...but better!"

13. "Small Town" by John Mellencamp. This song always makes me think of Chestertown. I love all John Mellencamp, and he actually put on one of the best concerts that I've ever been to! This song makes me feel happy to have a connection to a small town. "I cannot forget from where it is that I come from. I cannot forget the people that love me. I can be myself here in this small town. Where people let me be just what I want to be..."

14. "The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel. This song represents a period of my life where I was positively sure that I was going to go into Deaf Education. When I was in high school, I took ASL classes at the local college, and I taught myself much of what I know (or, knew..) I chose my university based off of my Deaf Ed major- UNCG has an outstanding program. Even though I don't plan on going into this field anymore, it was a huge part of my life for many years. "People talking without speaking. People hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never shared. And no one dare disturb the sound of silence."

15. "One Safe Place" by Marc Cohn. This song has always been a favorite, and was the inspiration for the name of this blog. It represents this point in my life where I am finally beginning to feel "safe" - in a lot of different ways. "How many roads you've traveled. How many dreams you've chased. Across sand and sky and gravel. Looking for one safe place."

Bonus Track! "This is Him (Hurricane Song)" by Virginia Coalition. This song is seared into my brain!! During the summer when I lived at 2004 Walker, Kim and I would come home drunk, crank this song up, and dance around the kitchen and do the dishes. I can't count how many times we've blasted this song with the windows down, singing and dancing and getting stares at stoplights. It's a great, great song. "So this is me, I'll be no one else... There's nothing wrong with the sound you've been needin' all along!"

Shine Your Light. NoJoMo #19

He lives in you
He lives in me
He watches over
Everything we see
Into the water
Into the truth
In your reflection
He lives in you

Liam James Kane, I miss you with my whole heart!  I can't believe it's been 3 whole years since you've graced this planet with your beautiful smile, gorgeous eyes, loving heart, and playful personality.  We miss you so much here, and we will never, EVER forget you!

6/29/00-11/19/05

NoJoMo #18

I mentioned in an earlier post that while I was in Vermont, we visited Harpoon Brewery in Windsor.  The weather was miserable on Saturday, so we thought a good way to spend it would be tasting beers!  It was about a 2 hour drive down to the brewery.  When we got there, we all ordered a pint and sat by the fireplace, looking out the window and talking.  The tour was great, and afterwards we sampled a bunch of beers.  My favorite was the Winter Warmer, which had nutmeg and cinnamon.  It was so good, it was like sucking on an atomic fireball and then drinking a beer.  They also had a Chocolate Stout, which tasted like it had Hershey's Dark Chocolate mixed in it.  It was also amazing, however it was pretty heavy and I probably couldn't have finished a whole pint.  There was also a raspberry beer that I really enjoyed.

(Photos: Front of the Brewery, Colin and Rachel during the tour, and Rachel in the store room standing next to TONS of her fav. beer!)

In other news, it's snowing here.  Just flurries, but everything looks "blue" outside... I'm not sure how to describe it.  It just looks like snow.  

I know that most of you probably won't do this, but I'll throw it out there just incase.  I do a good amount of Christmas shopping online, and I'm sure you guys have heard about those websites where you can choose a charity, and then when you shop through their site, a portion of your spending gets donated to your chosen charity.  

iGive.com is a great one - they have over 700 participating online stores, including Amazon.com, Apple, Apple iTunes, Best Buy, Brooks Brothers, Ebay, Gap, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Kohl's, L.L. Bean, Old Navy, Patagonia, Pottery Barn, REI, Ritz Camera, Sears.com, and Travelocity.  I couldn't believe it when I was looking at the list of stores, I have definitely shopped at some of these online stores for gifts, and I know that people I know shopped at some of these stores last year for Christmas.

Signing up is very easy and free.  If you go to iGive.com, there is a place to search for causes.  If you'd like to support Neuroblastoma research, search for "Band of Parents Foundation".  When you click it, it gives a description of the organization.  They fund some amazing trials around the US and are involved in funding some very cutting edge research.  I cannot think of a better place to donate money (And, you technically aren't even giving any money!)  After you choose your organization, you just sign up and then shop.  It's very easy.

I know that no one needs me to harp about Neuroblastoma and how desperate these families are for new and better treatments.  Listen to this alarming statistic.  EVERY YEAR, MORE MEN DIE FROM BREAST CANCER THAN CHILDREN DIE FROM NEUROBLASTOMA.  That is how rare this cancer is.  It needs more recognition, and more funding.  The children who have lost their lives to this cancer are constantly running through my mind, and the ones who are still fighting are my heroes. 

Go read Prince Liam's last few updates on his website.  I can guarantee that you will be blown away by his strength and resilience.  I wish with my whole heart that I could just give every cent to my name to this cause, but even that money wouldn't make a dent in the amount needed.

NoJoMo #17

Even though I already posted once today, I'm going to go ahead and post my NoJoMo 17 now so that I don't have to worry about it tomorrow, after a long drive.  It's technically November 17 now anyway.

"Do you have any regrets in your life thus far?"  -Lindsey

I have small regrets that I hardly think of on a day to day basis.  I wish I had studied abroad earlier in my college career, instead of holding back because of rugby.  I regret not staying in better contact with certain people over the last few years.  Things like that. 

My biggest regret is that I didn't pursue something that I really should have.  This is probably the closest that I will ever come to writing about The Unbloggable.  

Something awful happened when I was 16 years old.  It was a few days before Christmas, my junior year of high school.  I made a bad decision, actually a series of bad decisions.  This led to me being in a vulnerable position, and I was violated in a major way (really, beyond major) by someone who I trusted and considered a friend.  I went through all of the stages (although, I didn't even know what those stages were at the time.  I didn't learn about them until years later.)  Shock, Denial, Anger, etc.  I sat in the "Denial" stage for awhile there...not denying that it had happened, but denying that it was as bad as everyone kept acting like it was.  

The circumstances were strange.  I really didn't feel that I was "backed" by any adult, and the only adult who ever really validated my experience was an amazing teacher I had my senior year.  My AP Psych.ology teacher, Ms. B.  However, because things were not properly dealt with, it took me longer to adjust after the violence.  Also, I could not consider taking any legal action, especially without full support of some very key people.

By the time I had reached a better place emotionally and mentally, I was getting ready to go off to college, escaping the hell that had been my life for the last 18 months of my high school career.  I tried to push all of the memories and thoughts away, which worked for a good amount of time.  However, I will always be wracked by guilt and regret the fact that I did not take legal action after what happened.  The details from the event are horrendous, sickening, and absurd. There is no doubt in my mind that this person has hurt other girls/women since then, and all I can do is apologize silently to all of his other anonymous victims.  As a person who does whatever I can to help, love and nurture those around me, the thought of me not pursuing that is embarrassing, sad, and makes me feel responsible and guilty.

There is a thing called a sta.tute of limit.ations.  There is a certain amount of time that a victim has to prosecute after a crime like that is committed.  In the state of Delaware, it is 5 years from the date of the crime.  My stat.ute of limit.ations is up on December 20th, 2008.  So, a little over a month from now.  I am choosing not to do anything, for a host of reasons.  However, I think that when December 20th rolls around, it might be somewhat of a rough day.  My last chance to make things right, but I know I'll never do it.  

So sleepy... that's all for now.  It took me over an hour to write that, and it was completely emotionally exhausting.  However, even though what happened was unthinkable and horrific, I am only a stronger person today because of it.  "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" ... and I am surely lucky to be alive today.

NoJoMo #16

Here are a few photos from my drive up on Friday.

  

I'm heading home tomorrow morning.  This has been a great and very much needed little get-away.  I got to see so many people, it's been great.  Not only did I get to hang out with Rachel all weekend, but I got to see my friend Matt from high school.  Also, today I met up with the Mec.oni's for lunch.  Suzi's parents live right across Lake Champlain, so they took the ferry to Burlington and took Rachel and I out to lunch.  It was so good to see them, they are amazing people who I love a lot.

Today we got home from lunch and Rach started some homework while I napped on her very soft and comfy bed.  Then she woke me up for dinner and we had leftovers, and now she's finishing up some work before we head to Wal.mart to get me a tape adapter for my iPod and Ben & Jerry's for a milkshake.  

NoJoMo #15

I took these two photos in Chestertown last week.  

Vermont is great!  Today Rachel and her boyfriend Colin and I went to Harpoon, which is a brewery in southern VT.  We went on the tour and tried some amazing beers.  After that we stopped at another smaller brewery and got a snack before heading home to make lasagna.  

More substantial post still on it's way...