Friday, June 18, 2010

Way, way too many.

Ever since Liam was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, I have been keeping up with other children who are battling Neuroblastoma/other cancers and and their families. At first, it was a good way to learn more about NB, understand treatments, read about new therapies, and express my support through messages and guestbook entries. Soon after I began keeping up with children other than Liam, I learned how attached I became to many of these children, even though I'd never met them or their families. Although I am not as involved in the NB world as I used to be, I continue to learn of new children who are diagnosed and continue to keep up with their treatment progress, triumphs and sadness.

It continues to shock me when I learn that a new child has earned their wings. This morning, Kayla passed peacefully into the next world after her battle with cancer. It continues to break my heart and fuels the fire deep inside of me to help contribute to the FIGHT against pediatric cancer.

Too many sweet children have been lost to this disease. Emma Grace, Stanton, Christi, Erin, Katie, Penelope, Sam, James, Austin, Sydney, Max, Lucas, Eden, Kendall... to name a few - and that's just off the top of my head. Children who I followed closely, prayed for, cried for, wished for...

I've been thinking about Liam a lot lately. On the 29th of this month, he would have been 10 years old. It's absolutely mind blowing to imagine him at age ten. I almost can't do it... to me, he will always have a high-pitched little voice, tiny hands and toes, and still have some of his baby chub (except for when he became so very thin due to his treatments). It makes my heart ache just thinking that he's not here to experience grade school, sports, being a big brother, etc. Just the other night, tears streamed down my cheeks as I realized that my concrete memories of Liam are beginning to fade. I have a collection of memories, and I won't ever forget them... but the details are becoming hazy. It's been 4 years, 8 months, and 2 days since the last time I saw Liam, since he hugged me goodbye. Luckily, I have been blogging since before Liam was diagnosed, so in a special place out in the interwebs, I have a lot of posts about different experiences I shared with Liam. I am very thankful that I have those.

Please keep my dear friend Olivia's little friend Ylaria in your thoughts. Her family received devastating news a few months ago, but made the brave decision to try a new therapy- the one in Vermont. Ylaria's neuroblastoma is progressing, so please, send some prayers her way.

1 comment:

Olivia said...

Kristen, thank you so much for the love. You're right, there are too many. Too many lost children and too many broken hearts. Thank you for sharing this with others so that more people can be aware.

Love you!