Kathy.

A few years ago, I came across a caringbridge site for this little girl- Kathy W.  Her family lives in Greensboro - she has an older sister and two younger brothers.  I started reading her site around the time that she was diagnosed with Neuroblastoma, and I kept up with her, even though her mom couldn't always find the time to update as much as other parents.  (With four children, I bet her time gets eaten up very quickly!)  I e-mailed Kathy's mom and suggested that maybe we could all get together, or that I could even help her out with babysitting or anything else that she needed.  She e-mailed me back this great e-mail and said that she would love to get together.  Then, I chickened out.  I got too scared...Neuroblastoma is so unpredictable, and the survival rate is so low.  I was too scared that if I became friends with her and her family, or even just met her once, then I would have to go through the hurt and anguish all over again of losing a friend who was under the age of 5.  So, I didn't email her mom back.  That was over a year ago.  However, I still kept up with them constantly.  I still kept her, along with all of the other NB children, in my thoughts and prayers.

Kathy's cancer took a turn for the worse a few months ago, and the decision was made to not further her treatment.  My heart sunk when I read that update.  I knew what was to come, and it made me so, so sad.  This morning I checked her site and Kathy's mom posted that Kathy had earned her angel wings at 9:20 pm last night.  My heart sunk once again.

I am so angry at myself.  I knew this day would come, but I just didn't want it to.. I wanted Kathy to be an exception.  But...rarely are there exceptions with NB.  It is a horrible, nasty, WICKED cancer and I hope with all of my heart that they find a cure, or better treatments, as soon as humanly possible...