I've been in Chestertown since yesterday, just bouncing around from house to house, trying not to inconvenience anyone. Luckily, my grandmother had big plans for my time here. Last night we had wine coolers and played Yahtzee and discussed the only thing she ever wants to talk about anymore - my mom. I know that she's INCREDIBLY worried about her, as am I, but sometimes it just takes a toll on me. I feel like I'm trying to be strong for so many people, my grandparents included. I know that it is my job now that I'm an adult. But it's beginning to wear me out. My mommom can't get 4 sentences out about it to me before she starts to cry, and seeing your grandmother cry is never, ever fun. Especially when she's crying about one of her own children, who happens to be my own mother. I'm trying so hard, I guess I just need to try harder. Everyone keeps telling me that I need to be strong right now, and I'm trying so hard. I just don't know when I'm allowed to not be strong.
On a better note, my computer should arrive any day now! I'm SO pumped, apparently it was in Anchorage, Alaska at 2:02 pm today, so hopefully it can make its way across the US and be here by TOMORROW! I'm dying to get it and play around! Plus, I haven't had a computer that works in about a year and a half...it will be so nice to have my own, with my own files, my own pictures, my own music, my own preferences. I am so excited!!
My mom is in the process of setting up a caringbridge site for herself. I'll be sure to post it as soon as she does. She would love to hear from any and all of you.
I'm heading back to Wilmington tonight to take her for an ultrasound in the morning at Jefferson Hospital in Philly. Hopefully we won't get lost!