When I walked in the door yesterday, my eyes couldn't help but fill with tears at the memory of my time here last fall. The fear that built up inside of me during the two weeks before her surgery, wondering if they would get it all, wondering if they would make a mistake, wondering if every second away from the surgery the cancer was growing and exploding. It reminded me of during her surgery, coming home from the hospital with Kelsey and Meg, exhausted but not able to sleep, keeping ourselves busy with home movies and making 20 phone calls to family and friends.... It reminded me of after the surgery, me laying quietly on the couch reading while my mom napped off her pain meds in her favorite chair, me preparing whatever dinner had been dropped off for us, watching The Price is Right together while I did crossword puzzles, occasionally asking her for an answer.
I remembered it all very suddenly (not that I ever forgot any of those things) and it took me by surprise.
A little while later, I read Matt's Update on Matt, Liz, and Madeline about how a smell reminded him of a time last year as well.