It's just like singing...with your body.

Sometimes I feel like I don't know where I belong... in groups and in life.  Everywhere I go, I make friends with people who are already in a "group".  I am still able to become friends with them, but I'm always too late to become an actual part of the group.  It's been like this my whole life.  I don't know why, it just always feels like I'll never 100% be a part of some group of people.  Every group of friends I have been in, I've been the late comer.  There are already too many stories, the group is already designated by a name or some sort of phrase.  The only group I actually feel that I belong in is my Jr. Staff group at PACAA.  That's kind of different though, because I was chosen to be in that group, and so was everyone else.

I love all of my friends, don't get me wrong.  I'm just tired of being the newcomer.  I just want to know that I belong.  

On to less pathetic-y things...

LTLYM #5. Recreate an object from someone's past.

Em told me a story a long time ago.  She went to a summer camp every summer, and I loved hearing the stories she told me.  (Which eventually led to me working there for one summer in 2007).  One story in particular stuck with me, because I could completely empathize with how she felt....

When Em was 14, she read the book Cure For Death by Lightning.  In it, one of the characters has an anklet with little bells on it.  In passing, she mentioned how cool she thought that was to her mom, and promptly forgot about it.  That summer, she was in a unit with her friends and she noticed that one of her counselors had an anklet with bells, just like the girl from the book.  "How cool!", she thought.  Later that day, after lunch, Em received a package from her mom.  Ironically- her mom had included a bell anklet!  She had remembered how Em had mentioned it, so she saw one and sent it.  Em could barely contain her excitement, and couldn't wait to show her friends.  She ran over to their tent, ducked inside, and prepared to show her friends her cool new piece of jingling jewelry.  Just as she was about to pull it out of her pocket, the girls started snickering.  Em realized that they were making fun of the counselor outside their tent.  "Only DYKES wear bells like that!", one of them exclaimed.  The others agreed, as they all dissolved into giggles.  Em, deflated, shoved the anklet further into her pocket.  She went back to her tent, put the anklet back into the package, and never, ever tied it onto her ankle.  She never spoke about it to anyone.

This story broke my heart.  So I made Em a new set of bells, and she is currently wearing it and jingling everywhere she goes.  :-)