New Beginnings.

In a week from today, on Sunday the 19th of November, it will be one whole year since Liam James Kane took his final breath and forever became a part of the earth. Em and I sent him love and balloons last weekend. It's absolutely unreal that he's been gone for a year.

I'm constantly trying to make sense of things that may never be resolved. Why must a 5 year old succumb to cancer. That "c" word... that ugly word...cancer. It's a nightmare. Nonetheless, I cannot go back in time, and I did not have the power to transfer Liam's cancer to my own body (which I wished to do so many times). Now I can only close my eyes when it is raining, when the sun is shining on me, and when the wind is flowing around me and know that he is all around me, wrapping me up in a huge hug whenever possible. Thanks, buddy. I miss you and love you. :)

What else.. well, I've been thinking about getting a new blog because LiveJournal just doesn't do it for me anymore. LJ was nice in high school and all that, but I felt like I was writing for my friends. I want to write for myself again, like how I started out.

I've learned a lot from my dog Sydney. She's some sort of hound..everyone has their guesses. Doberman, Red Doberman, Rottweiler, Coon Hound, Lab...she's a big mix (like a tie dye!!). But I love her and she teaches me things everyday. She's a permanent fixture in my life and even though I can't always afford the best, most premium dog food and even though sometimes she has to hang out in the backyard with the other dogs, she still loves me. (I bet it's cause I rescued her from that awful pound!)

That's enough for today. I often have so many thoughts that are in my head...complaints, ideas to change the world, life plans to remember and record...I'll be back soon.