Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dream

Last night I dreamed about Liam.

Sometimes my dreams about Liam are scary... I've written before about my recurring dream that I have about Liam.  This one wasn't scary though, and when I woke up I couldn't stop smiling because it seemed so real.

I was at a pool... Mr. and Mrs. Kane and Alli were there, but Alli was about 2 years old.  I was supposed to be diving, but I was scared to dive.  Finally, I just did it.  People were judging my diving as if it were some sort of competition.  Alli tried to jump into the pool, but I caught her when she jumped.  Mrs. Kane was so scared when Alli did that, but she was fine because I caught her and twirled her around and set her back up on the edge of the pool.  After that, I was out on this back porch.  Liam was there, wrapped up in blankets.  I had my phone in my pocket, and kept trying to take pictures of him, but my phone's memory card was full and I couldn't figure out how to delete some of the pictures off of it.  (Something I definitely actually know how to do!)

I remembered that I had my good camera inside, so I asked Dan Glavin, who was outside with us, if he would keep an eye on Liam while I ran inside to grab my camera.  When I got back, they were playing chase on the porch.  I whipped out my camera, but everytime I tried to take a picture, the camera would tell me that I was in the wrong setting.  I kept checking and it was on "auto", but it just wasn't working.  Then I tried for so long that I broke the shutter button (??!)  Then I fixed that, and tried again but it was telling me that my battery was dead.  Eventually, I gave up trying to take a picture of him, and just sat down next to him.  He put his head in my lap (something he used to do when I babysat for him and we watched a movie) and we just sat there like that for the longest time.  I was sitting cross-legged and eventually became very sore, my legs were going numb, but I didn't want to move and disturb Liam, who was laying there so peacefully.  

The entire time during this dream, I was aware that Liam had died.  I kept telling myself that "the medicine" had brought him back for a little while.  (??)  In my dream, I was thinking about how Liam had been cremated and buried, so how was this possible?  But it didn't matter because little Liam was right in front of me, I was hugging him and looking him in the eye, and even though I couldn't take a picture to prove it, I would still have the memory with me for the rest of my life.

Does anyone else ever experience dreams about people that they've lost?

5 comments:

Danielle Luc said...

OHIO - 43420 :)

Thank you so much!

I read your posting, I am terribly sorry for your loss.

Merry Christmas to you.

Anonymous said...

Kristen, I've had dreams of my friend (Kristen) who passed away. In the dreams she's hugging me. Sometimes I wake up and pray to go back to that same dream as soon as I fall asleep. My prayers are answered when I'm able to fall back asleep, back into that dream. I recently started writing to her parents. Her mom and Kristen's friend have these same "hugging" dreams. We believe it's Kristen coming to see us in our dreams.. hope that helps!

Marcy

Jennifer Lehmann said...

I don't normally remember my dreams, but when I do they almost always are about Christi or Ty - two kids I was close to that have died. Sometimes it is just like reliving moments, some are totally new and I too tell myself throughout the dream that this can't be happening because they aren't alive. Usually its comforting that I at least have that to hold on to. Sometimes I swear I can even hear their voices in the dream.

lindsey said...

every so often em's & my friend pete turns up in my dreams...he's always alive and everyone around him knows that he's not...he can never figure out why we're all so astounded that he's there or why we're acting the way we do.
my dad turns up once in a blue moon, mostly recently as things with my family have been so up in the air...he always says he's sorry and that he misses us.
i love dreams because anything can happen and anyone can show up, but i hate it when they make me sad.
merry christmas eve!

Jennifer Lehmann said...

Liam's family still has a place in KCC if they'd like. I'm sure you understand how angel families appreciate talking to other angel families so they could definitely add on to our website network. Also, his sister can receive care packages and apply for a scholarship when she gets to be that age.

My guy is pretty great. I know I'm so so lucky!

Not a problem adding me to your blogroll..I'll do the same. Have a great Christmas!