My ears are ringing, my face is burning, and my heart feels as though it's slowly descending down into my stomach right now.
I found an email that I'd written to Lance Kowalski's mother back in 2005, shortly after Liam passed away. Lance's mom, Justine, made a playlist on iTunes in honor of her son. I was making a slide show of some photos I had of Liam, and I was looking on iTunes for some music to add to it. I came across the list she made for her son, who had, ironically also passed away from Neuroblastoma. The playlist was great, and I emailed her, thanking her for making it. We shared emails back and forth for about a year and a half, and then we lost touch. She was an amazing lady.
Tonight I found one of those emails and it made me think of her. I emailed her, asking how she was, etc. The email came back right away, saying it was undeliverable. I knew it was the right email address. So I went to Lance's caringbridge, and noticed that it hadn't been updated in over a year. I went to the guestbook, and found that sadly, Justine committed suicide in May 2008. My head is buzzing, and I just can't believe it.
I can't fall asleep, and I feel so incredibly sad.