Time is our friend

The more I think about moving back to North Carolina, the more anxious I start to feel.  In the past few years, whenever I would come home for a week to visit or whatever, I would always feel a twinge of sadness on my flight or drive back down, but usually it would dissipate quickly.  North Carolina is my "home", so I would feel as though I was just returning to my "normal".  

However, now my "normal" is here.  I am excited to go back to NC and get back to my life as a college kid where I left off.  But, somewhere inside of me is this feeling that I'm really going to miss living here with my mom.  We do everything together now, and are closer than we ever were - and closer than I ever imagined we could be.  We watch Jeopardy together, we do dishes together, we laugh hysterically at things and I'm able to shut the rest of the world out while I'm in this house.  While that may not be the healthiest thing, I think I needed that.  Time away from the clutter of my usual life.  While here, I have amassed a lot more belongings than I left NC with (I blame Christmas), but when I started out, I only had like 2 loads of laundry here.  I complained a lot that I didn't ever have anything to do, but secretly, I liked that I had nothing better to do than lay on the couch and read a book or watch Lifetime made for TV movies.

I am ready to be a student again- that is something that I truly missed.  But I am not ready to think about Grad schools or what will happen once I graduate.  I talked to my roommate today, who took the GRE's before Christmas.  I need to do that this semester, and that scares the crap out of me.  I don't want to grow up, I want time to rewind.  I want to be a freshman again... when did all of these years pass me by?  What have I been doing with myself all this time?